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Some short reactions to movies I’ve watched recently. Keeping in mind that I never get to go to the theater anymore (and that’s harsh for someone who used to go at least once a week), these are all movies I’ve watched on cable.

The Dark Knight (2008): Wow, talk about overrated. The way people reacted to this film last year, you’d have thought it was the greatest thing since Star Wars, sliced bread, and online shopping. I was really underwhelmed. The plot was all over the place and just didn’t make any sense, chronologically or otherwise. The editing was painful, an assault on the eyes and brain that left me with a headache and a vague sense of nausea. Christian Bale apparently decided to play Batman as a caricature, which is the only way to explain the gravelly grunting and growling that passes as his dialog throughout. The only bright spot is, sadly, Heath Ledger as Joker. The character is refreshingly ambiguous, and we never really understand his backstory or motives, making him a true agent of chaos. Ledger’s performance is fascinating and the only reason to watch this movie at all.

Juliet of the Spirits (Giuletta degli spiriti) (1965): I try to catch Fellini films whenever they’re on cable since I’ve seen so few of them. I watched this not knowing what to expect, and went away from it frankly scratching my head. It’s a surrealist work, but I feel like watching a film in a foreign language sets you up with an element of surrealism to begin with, at least subconsciously, which made seeing and understanding “Juliet” a bit difficult for me. Short summary: beautifully shot, intriguing, and confusing. Made me wish I was stoned.

America’s Sweethearts (2001): I think I actually saw this movie when it came out, in a theater, but it had been several years since the last time I saw it. This is one of those films that seems to get panned by everyone, but I thought it wasn’t that bad. Certainly there are some hokey elements, many of them having to do with Billy Crystal’s character, but John Cusack is adorable, as usual, and it was fun to see Julia Roberts in a fat suit and Catherine Zeta-Jones playing such a bitch.

The Governess (1998): Another one I originally saw on the big (well, not so big, since it was an art house) screen. Featuring Minnie Driver and a amazingly young Tom Wilkinson, it’s a classic fish out of water tale. Minnie is a Jewess who pretends to be someone and something else in order to take a job as a governess in Scotland, where she gets involved in surprising and destructive ways with her employer. In the end she gives up the charade she’s involved in, but the nice thing about this story is, she grows into something much more than she had been in the end. She gets a happy ending, though not the one she initially imagines for herself. I really liked this film.

Why Did I Get Married? (2007): A Tyler Perry film, which might ordinarily send reasonable people screaming if they’re only aware of Perry’s strange “Madea” series. The slapstick is absent here and the broad humor considerably toned down. There are lots of cliches in this examination of four marriages, all of them troubled in one way or another, but I’ve seen worse. Fun for comparing the singers who can act (Jill Scott) with the ones who can’t (Janet Jackson).

Penelope (2006): I really wanted to like this – the cast is great! But alas, it’s so hackneyed and ridiculous, and I couldn’t get past the cheese factor. It’s not terrible, really, but trust me – don’t go out of your way to see it.

More impressions as I get them…