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I was thinking this morning about stores I grew up going to back in Ohio. There’s this Target around the corner from where I live now that’s kind of our go-to place for everything. They sell just about everything, including groceries; and there’s a snack bar and a Starbuck’s inside. But we also shop at Kohl’s, Harris Teeter, Wegman’s, CVS, Costco…

I grew up in the Cleveland suburbs in the 70s and 80s. In the 70s, especially, there were a lot of stores around that we just don’t have anymore. Uncle Bill’s? Gold Circle? These places are gone (as far as I know) now. Of course they opened a far-out drug/everything store called Marc’s, which turned into a chain and took off, but a lot of the other variety stores are kaput, or drastically changed. I remember going to KMart on Bagley Road all the time. We bought everything there. Clothes, household items, lawn chairs, cleaning products, stuff for the car, every kind of seasonal decorative item you can imagine - from Halloween costumes to Christmas ornaments to plastic eggs for Easter. I wore a lot of no-name brand jeans and sneakers from KMart. Did I beg my mom for Nikes? Sure I did, but man she was frugal, to put it mildly. So instead I had the KMart version (and a little teasing at school).

And the garden center! I remember going every spring to pick out the flowers and vegetables that my mom would transplant into our garden and hedges. We even bought lilies and other flowering plants there at Easter that she transplanted into the dirt next to the house. Impossibly, they took root and continued to bloom every year.

This particular KMart was just 100 kinds of awesome. There was a little cafeteria-style restaurant in the back, as well as a little snack bar up front! I loved to get Slurpees there - usually the Coke flavor. Back in the day, Slurpee only came in two flavors: Coke and Cherry. Cherry was too sweet and turned your mouth all red, so Coke it was.

I remember one time when I was in the first grade or so, for some reason I was at KMart with my mom, just the two of us. Not sure where my sister was at the time. I was walking around KMart by myself (back then parents let their 7-year-olds wander stores alone, I guess). I remember walking through the toy aisles and being particularly interested in some model kits they had for sale. They showed little scenarios like Dracula rising from his coffin or The Mummy opening his sarcophagus and leaving his tomb. Or, best of all, grave robbers stealing a body to make Frankenstein! I was standing there, staring at these things, completely horrified and fascinated and a little bit terrified — and I fainted. Just fell right over, unconscious. My mom found me, I don’t know how, and the next thing I remember, she had loaded me awkwardly into the cart and was pushing me towards the back of the store.

Now here’s the thing - not only did KMart have very nice restrooms back then, they had a ladies lounge. That’s right - a whole room where ladies could sit and smoke or fix their hair or, well, lounge, I guess. And that’s where my mom took me, and a helpful employee procured a glass of water for me. I remember several employees asking my mom what happened and her saying she didn’t know, I must be sick. I kept trying to tell her “I fainted because I was looking at the Frankenstein.” This made no sense to her AT ALL and probably contributed to the visit to my pediatrician which was inflicted on me that same afternoon. (I really hated my pediatrician - he had big, clammy hands and greasy hair and a very heavy Greek accent that I could never understand. My mom had to act as interpreter. I was forced to see this dude as my primary care provider until I graduated from high school and ran far, far away from Brookpark, Ohio!) I had a fever, just a little bug, and went home to eat chicken soup and take aspirin and watch the afternoon monster movie on TV (how appropriate).

KMart’s glory days are gone now, especially at that particular Bagley Road outpost. I’m not even sure that store is open anymore. Some time in the late 80s, Little Caesar’s took over the restaurant, and the snack bar at the front shut down. Of course there was some rebirth in the Martha Stewart era, but KMart these days is really a shadow of the Midwestern glory that I remember, and closed a lot of stores around here a few years back. Sure we have nice places to shop now, but somehow, Target’s just not the same.

So after the results from my recent endometrial biopsy came back negative, I was quite relieved. I naively assumed that things would start to get better - not because I’d had a biopsy, but because I was on the Pill again. I figured being on the Pill would eliminate some of the more unpleasant monthly side effects I was experiencing - like cramps so bad I couldn’t walk, and a ridiculously unpredictable cycle. However, my first cycle after the biopsy was even worse than usual. I never really got a period in the technical sense. I did, however, get killer cramps that absolutely disabled me for a whole day. On top of that, something just didn’t feel right, I couldn’t explain it succinctly but something was off, way off.

So I emailed my doctor’s office and they said she was out that week, but they’d get back to me. Two weeks went by. I emailed again. This time I got a reply about an hour later (with an apology for misplacing my previous message). My doctor prescribed some antibiotics, which she instructed me to pick up at the pharmacy ASAP, and advised me that if troublesome symptoms persisted, I would need to come in to the office for a follow-up.

Hmm…antibiotics. OK, she wasn’t really clear on WHY I needed to take them, but I went ahead and took them anyway (three days of zithromax, which really fucked with my digestive tract, but whatever). I also did some more Internet research and came to the conclusion that there are two possibilities:

1. She thought that I had developed an infection as a result of the biopsy procedure, a rare but not impossible side effect.

2. She thought she had perforated my uterus during the procedure, another rare but not impossible side effect.

Neither possibility thrills me, but I took my antibiotics. I had a period not long after they were finished, and while it was still a drag, it was just slightly better than what I dealt with the month previous. So I figure, I wait for the next one and see how it goes - if my symptoms continue to improve, then I probably don’t have anything to worry about. At least not until the next wacky, abnormal test result.

Damn uterus.

I am very high maintenance. Not so much to others - mostly to myself. I mean, I spend a lot of money to keep myself groomed and attired in the style that I think is appropriate. Could I give up some of the extras? Yes, but then I wouldn’t be a princess.

In the past month, I’ve had a haircut, brow waxes, facial, fills for my gel nails, Mystic tan sessions, a pedicure, and a trim just for my bangs (that was, thank goodness, complementary). Some days I feel like Frankenstein. On the other hand, if I didn’t do all these things that I do regularly, I’d be a pale, pimply freak with bushy eyebrows, frizzy hair, and nasty looking feet. I comfort myself with the thought that I don’t spend nearly as much on my own upkeep as some other women do. For instance, I have not had (nor am I planning to have) any plastic surgery, botox, laser treatments, lip injections, or hair extensions. And I did my own highlights!

I might get a peel, though. Maybe.

As promised, here’s a list of some really awesome (and convenient) foods that I’ve found exceptionally conducive to the Weight Watchers plan. I’m on the Flex Plan, by the way - the one where you count points. This to me is easier than counting straight calories, for many reasons, not the least of which, not every calorie is created equal! For example, a food that’s 100 calories, but contains 3 grams of dietary fiber, is much better for you than a food that’s 100 calories, but contains no fiber and 5 grams of fat!

Weight Watchers also has something called the Core Plan, but I profess total ignorance as to how it works, so I’m not going to address it here.

Anyway, on to the munchies!

Oh I do love Triscuits. They are just about the perfect salty snack. They taste great with all kinds of toppings, but are just as delicious plain. These babies have a TON of fiber in them, and are low in fat, so they’re very good. You may look at the nutritional information for them and realize that a serving (which is worth 2 points in the WW system, by the way) is only six crackers (seven, if you’re eating the low-fat variety). “Whoa!” you say, “that’s not enough snacking goodness!” But seriously, try them. Six or seven of these is plenty. They also break easily into little strips - break six of them into three strips each and you’ve got a veritable mountain of salty goodness right there.

On the sweeter side of the snack aisle, these are a new product called Newtons Fruit Crisps, made by the people that brought you Fig Newtons (and Strawberry Newtons, and who knows what else). I don’t like Fig Newtons at all but not to worry - these don’t taste anything like Fig Newtons. They’re so new, I couldn’t find them on Nabisco’s web site, but I did find a rave about them on Hungry Girl’s site (click the picture, and scroll halfway down the page). They come in two flavors which honestly taste about the same to me - that is, AWESOME. Like a crispy little Poptart! Oh my, these are SO good. Definitely not as nutritious as real fruit, but dang, so much like dessert - and only 2 points for a package of two crisps. But thumbs up from me on these.

You say you like your Starbucks latte? You gotta have caffeine and steamed milk and various delicate flavors? Yeah, me too. I’ve been drinking a Grande skim vanilla latte every morning for years - but not anymore. Even with skim milk, one of those is 4.5 points - that’s a lot just for a beverage. Compromise with the “skinny” latte (which has skim milk and sugar-free syrup) and it’s still 2.5 points. That’s better, but I’m honestly not crazy about the taste of the sugar-free syrup (it’s actually sweeter than regular syrup, and has a bit of that diet aftertaste). I never thought I’d actually enjoy one of these General Foods International Coffees, but I’ve found one that I do. Admittedly, it’s not really on the same level as a Starbucks vanilla latte. On the other hand, it’s not bad! It’s cheaper (you can buy a whole tin of the stuff for about what one latte costs at Starbucks), and one serving is only 1 point. That makes me feel better about drinking one (or two!) every day; and I can save my bigger point investments for more substantial treats!

By the way, I have to add that one of the best diet treats in the whole world is a Grande Mocha Light Frappucino from Starbucks. It’s only 3 points and it tastes like a chocolate milkshake. Caramel Light is awesome too!

One way I survive lunch every day is to bring a frozen meal of some type. It’s easier for me than making lunch (although I do make my lunch sometimes too) and is much safer than going out. I’ve tried just about every type of “healthy” frozen entrees out there, and I can definitely say that until recently, my preferences were for Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones. Then I tried South Beach Living. Wow! These are some of the best-tasting entrees I’ve ever had! Especially the adorable little wrap kits (available in the refrigerated - not frozen - section), which are like Lunchables for adults - they come with a little cup of Jello! How cute is that? Plus the whole thing adds up to just 5 points. The frozen meals are good too. Just today I had a four-cheese pizza which was pretty damn tasty for only 6 measly points. I still like the Lean Cuisine pizzas just a little bit better, but they usually have 7 points. I’ve also enjoyed the South Beach cereal bars, snack bars, etc. I think Kraft is really onto something with this brand.

Finally, you may have noticed that there are quite a few Weight Watchers-branded foods available at the supermarket now too. From bagels to yogurt, they have a little bit of everything. I particularly enjoy some of their cheese offerings. They have some great cheese snacks, like little bars of cheddar and full-size string cheese, which are only 1 point each (these are also really convenient to use in recipes, sandwiches, etc.). They also have little 1-point cups of cream cheese, which I bring with me when I bring one of their bagels to work for breakfast. Bagel = 2 points, cheese = 1, that’s a pretty satisfying 3 points.

There are tons of other foods I could talk about (Skinny Cow ice cream bars, mini Luna bars, Kashi Good Friends cereal) plus all of the great tips on Hungry Girl (like using crushed Fiber One cereal as a breading), but I’m starting to get hungry!

Today’s song is courtesy of Garbage, who rule, that is all, the end. And also, Shirley Manson is a goddess.

Oh, and speaking of goddesses…hee hee hee! I accomplished another one of my weight loss goals, which was to wear my original wedding rings again. They haven’t fit on my fat little finger for over two years, but yesterday they slipped right on! I was pretty thrilled. So far, I have:

- Lost about 19 pounds.
- Had to give away three pairs of jeans that were way too loose in the waist/hip area.
- Started sleeping better, having less back/hip/knee pain, and feeling more like a human being in the morning.
- Gone down a full size in shirts, dresses, and pants.
- Plus, that wedding ring thing!

Weight Watchers is the awesome, seriously. So easy to follow, so easy not to be hungry, so encouraging of a healthy balance. My next step is to add in a regular exercise regime, which I know is coming, but I’m kind of saving it for when I hit my first plateau.

Tomorrow I’m going to blog about some awesome convenience foods I’ve discovered in recent weeks. But for today, here’s Ms. Manson and Garbage: