Then you say you’re going to split off the DVD stuff into Qwikster (seriously – WORST. COMPANY. NAME. EVER.). Then — oh no, wait! You’re not going to do that after all. I went from thinking “oh well, here comes the greedy part as they get ready to sell off the DVD side of the business” to just plain thinking you’re off your meds. Crikey!

But mostly I’m just getting kind of annoyed at you because the streaming selection seems like it’s getting WORSE, not better. You keep touting all these deals for new content, so how come nothing that I want to watch is ever available? Here’s just a sample of the things I’ve searched for, and been disappointed by the lack of, on Netflix Streaming in the past few months:

- The Harvey Girls
- Singin’ in the Rain
- The Black Cat
- Poltergeist
- Night of the Living Dead (1990)
- Alien or Aliens or Alien 3 or Alien: Resurrection
- The Muppet Show
- Vertigo or Rope or North by Northwest or The Birds or The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) or The Trouble with Harry
- Scooby-Doo movies and tv shows (You have ONE currently. My daughter loves these. What happened to the others you used to offer?)
- Fargo
- Return to Oz
- Stephen King’s IT
- The Shawshank Redemption
- The Shining (original OR mini-series remake)
-  The Seventh Seal
- Rashomon
- Kung Fu Hustle
- The Royal Tenenbaums
- Rushmore
- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
- Any opera or classical music performances or ballet
- The Man Who Laughs

Don’t get me wrong, I do like some of the stuff you’ve made available recently (I love being able to re-watch all those old seasons of “Dark Shadows,” for example), but more and more I can’t find what I want when I want it. And I often end up using Amazon VOD instead. Sometimes even when I have to pay per title! Yes, THANK YOU for making The Big Lebowski continuously available so that I can watch it once a month without digging for my DVD. But come on – no Wes Anderson available at all? And thank you for having Jackie Brown, which I love, but what about Pulp Fiction? Inglorious Basterds? Kill Bill?

A lot of folks have been linking to Rob Ager‘s very detailed analysis of films, including The Shining. I’ve read several, and watched a few of his video analyses, and they ARE fascinating. If you’re a film buff with a few hours to kill, his page will keep you interested and entertained for sure. But last night I was reading his long and detailed essay on The Shining, and this section in particular really got to me: “CHAPTER TWENTY: TWO LITTLE GIRLS, ABOUT EIGHT AND TEN.” Many of Rob’s essays feature revelations that have only been possible with the advent of HD video; some things are simply not noticeable or even visible in lower-quality (i.e., VHS) versions of these films. This chapter, in particular, explores something in one of the film’s most iconic scenes (the blood coming out of the elevator) that I’d never noticed before. And now that I’ve seen it, I wish I could un-see it, it just creeped me out that badly! This video analysis in particular is really disturbing (and it doesn’t help that Rob has edited it with purposely scary music cues).

People, I am warning you: if you don’t want to be utterly creeped out, do NOT click on the link to that video I just posted above. If it’s too late, and you’ve already clicked it, STOP WATCHING. Especially if you’re sitting alone in your home office in a dark house late at night after everyone else has gone to sleep.

For those of you who went ahead and watched it anyway: WTF!! WHAT WAS THAT!?! HOLD ME!!!!

IT SUCKS.

My husband signed up for the one-week free trial, so we tried Hulu Plus out on our Roku. I was NOT impressed. The interface, compared to Netflix and even Amazon VOD, is clunky. But most annoying were the commercials. TONS OF COMMERCIALS. I tried to watch an episode of Parks and Recreation (Season 3, Episode 1), and before the damn episode even started, I had to watch FOUR commercials. Two straight minutes of irritation right there (at least when I’m watching something with commercials on my computer, I can do other things and ignore them until they’re over). Then there were another two commercials at every normal commercial break in the program.

I guess I’ve gotten spoiled by Netflix, where there are NO commercials at all, but watching an episode on Hulu Plus was so annoying, before it was over I’d decided I would never do it again. $7.99 a month to watch commercials? NO THANKS. For $7.99 a month I can stream shows and movies from Netflix with no commercials, and for $2 more I can have one DVD out at a time too. Yeah, I get that Hulu Plus can offer more recent seasons, but so what? I’m pretty sure Season 3 of P&R will be on Netflix Streaming by this fall when it comes out on DVD. If not, I’ll just get the DVDs as part of my 1 DVD at a time plan. Or I’ll pay $38.99 and stream Season 3 in HD right now from Amazon VOD. It is worth it to me to watch without annoying commercials.

So my summary of Hulu Plus is: TOTAL WASTE OF MONEY.

(By the way, if you have no idea what a Roku is, you really need check it out. IT ROCKS.)

- I once saw David Copperfield live. It was corny but entertaining.

- I am obsessed with 30s-40s-50s swing music. This is probably a big reason why I have played so many hours of Fallout 3 – I can’t stop listening to Three-Dog on Galaxy News Radio.

- I am also obsessed with Cleveland-style polka music, which I grew up dancing to at every prom and wedding, and watching on “Polka Varieties” on Sunday mornings. I am a FABULOUS polka-er.

- I used to be addicted to perms. Even though now I am a confirmed pixie cut addict (aka the lesbian soccer mom look), I still sometimes think longingly of having a perfect spiral perm a la Jennifer Grey in “Dirty Dancing.”

- Speaking of the lesbian soccer mom look, I love Jamie Lee Curtis and I feel embarrassed for her whenever one of those Activia commercials comes on. I don’t know why; I suppose she’s just paying the bills. And also, I don’t know if it really helps your digestive system, but I tried the yogurt and didn’t like it – too runny.

- I’m starting to think that “Howards End” is my favorite movie, ever. Maybe I should buy the new Criterion Collection DVD, so I can watch it whenever I want.

- My favorite movie, by far, used to be “Army of Darkness,” and I used to watch it EVERY NIGHT, on VHS. Yes, I had a thing for Bruce Campbell, what can I say?

(Please note, the following trailer for Howards End gives away pretty much the whole movie.)

It was a squash. And that is why, to this day, watching RHPS makes me think of squash.

See, if I was relying on this blog for my livelihood, I might have to publish stories that tie in with SATC2′s marketing campaign, like “How to Get Carrie’s Hair” or “Charlotte’s Perfect Makeup” or “Samantha’s Still-Active Va-Jay-Jay.” (OK, maybe not the last one.) That would kill me, because the Sex and the City franchise sucks in general, and this latest movie very specifically.

I haven’t even seen it. I don’t have to. I can smell that shit from miles away. I find the whole concept of it shallow and offensive. But just in case you don’t believe me, there are lots of honest reviews you can check out. Like this one. Or this, this, and this. Or, most hilariously, THIS, which is the best of all. (That last one, by Lindy West at The Stranger, is getting a lot of press and link love, so it may take a really long time to load.)

I used to watch SATC on HBO. The first few seasons were fun. By the last two or so, it was getting old, or maybe I was just growing up, because I didn’t find it compelling anymore. I think by the time the series finally gasped its last, everyone was pretty much ready to be done with it. Then they came out with the first movie, which I didn’t see until it was on cable. I was not impressed. It wasn’t awful, but it certainly wasn’t the kind of thing I’d get dressed and leave the house for either. I think we can all agree that a sequel was COMPLETELY unnecessary. Seriously. Come on.

The big problem with movies like SATC2, and similar fluff like “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” is their tone-deafness. The country is in a recession, for Christ’s sake. Some people have been unemployed for two years now, and everyone is making sacrifices. Somehow, watching two hours of shallow, logo-flogging, conspicuous consumption just doesn’t make me feel any better, and it seems to not be helpful to most other hard-working folks either. There was a lot of talk about how in the Great Depression, Hollywood produced lots of lavish musicals and entertainment designed to help people “forget their problems” and “escape into a dream world.” But I don’t think it works anymore. We’ve moved on as a society, and most of us can’t relate, and don’t WANT to relate, to the shallow old hags of Sex and the City.

- Work has been kicking my ass. I’m on a tight schedule trying to finish running about 500 test cases and my project manager keeps asking me if I think I’ll be done early. EARLY!

- I haven’t been feeling so good with the weird weather patterns here. My sinuses are just killing me. Also, nosebleed every morning = total drag.

- The few things I have felt passionate enough about to actually maybe turn into a blog post are just too controversial. I have kind of learned the hard way that it’s best for me NOT to blog about politics and stuff like that. I just shouldn’t go there. Ever. (Of course, I probably will again, at some point. Just not now.)

Anyway, Friday I actually stayed home sick. OMG I felt like hell! While I was at home, completely out of it, I watched a few things on TV.

Role Models (2008): surprisingly funny. I like Paul Rudd in snarky mode. Also has Jane Lynch, so what’s not to like? It was juvenile and preposterous, sure, but still pretty good. The whole plot about the kid who’s into the LARP game was especially funny to me, because last year I watched that documentary Darkon, so I know that these people really exist and really are that hilariously intense!

Paranoid Park (2007): haunting. Gus Van Sant really knows how to fuck with your head, you know? Reminded me a little bit of Brick because of the setting, but it’s much more realistic and, ultimately, depressing.

Zombiemania (2008): a documentary about the zombie sub-genre of horror films, featuring interviews with George Romero, Tom Savini, Max Brooks, Boyd Banks, and others. Not bad, really. I was a little disappointed that they didn’t address the European zombie films (Fulci, etc.) at all. Maybe they couldn’t get clearances. But in any case, it was somewhat entertaining (especially the Max Brooks stuff) and it’s always nice to hear everyone involved in zombie films give so much credit to Romero (especially since he hasn’t made nearly the money he should have off the genre he basically invented).

I think I watched more stuff, but I was really out of it and I don’t remember now.

Before I sign off and head up to do even more laundry on a lovely Sunday afternoon, let me just say a few things about Project Runway. There’s a lot of talk about this season being somehow “boring” or less exciting than the previous seasons. I don’t necessarily buy that. I think people WANT to believe that just because the show is on Lifetime now, and not Bravo. Whatever. I do think it’s a problem that the judging has been so inconsistent, and has led to some really ridiculous things happening, like Epperson and Ra’mon getting sent home while useless hacks like Logan, Christopher, and Nicolas hang in there for so long (bye bye, Nicolas!). The show worked better for everyone when it was Heidi-Michael-Nina plus a guest judge every week.

As far as a favorite, right now I don’t have one. But I’ll tell you this: if Irina gets to go to the final four or whatever, I will be PISSED. Because she is SUCH A CLASSLESS TOAD. Have you ever heard anyone shit talk so much about so many people, with (apparently) no consequences? She never, ever has anything nice to say about anyone else, and it just shows a lack of tact, class, and maturity. It’s one thing to be confident in your own work, nothing wrong with that. But it’s really lame to do nothing but criticize everyone else’s. I wonder, can she really be that clueless? Or are they only showing us her interview clips that criticize – maybe the producers have set her up to be the wicket witch of the season? Whatever – if that’s the case, she’s certainly given them plenty of material to work with!

And, to finish, let me just say: whatever. Because I noticed I’ve used that word a lot today and I think a few more would help. WHATEVER.