Groovymarlin.com

I can’t believe it’s December 24th. I remember back in July or August, sitting on the couch feeling exhausted as Veronica found her legs and really started giving us a workout, “Wow…Christmas seems so far away.” And here it is upon us. Most shocking: the day after Christmas, Veronica will officially be 18 months old.

She blows my mind regularly. First, it was with the little independent actions that she is getting so good at: wanting to put her books away herself, putting her teddy bear down to “seep” and covering him up with a blanket, patting him gently and saying “nigh nigh.” Then it was with all the words, seems like at least one new word a day that she’s mastered. And now, sentences. Sometimes I only understand 20 or 30 percent of each, but still: sentences. SENTENCES!

A friend asked me yesterday what I’m doing for Christmas. I said my plan was to sit around and do nothing but play video games as much as possible, but that wasn’t really true. Well, OK, that’s part of the plan. But mostly I want it to be a really special day for our little Bean. I’m so excited to watch her unwrap her presents tomorrow! Not just because I know she loves to tear up pieces of paper, either. She has packages under the tree from one of her teachers and from her cousins. Tonight “Santa” will visit and bring the rest. Since I know she’s not reading this blog (yet), here’s a partial list of all the other goodies she’s getting:

• The Farmer Says
• Radio Flyer Inchworm
• Lots of Sandra Boynton board books
• Several Pixar DVDs
• Several Elmo DVDs
• Stretchy Elmo and Potty Time Elmo
• Lots of clothes

Her father and I mutually agreed not to get each other anything this year. We don’t need presents, we already have the best present of all, and she will be tearing paper and throwing ribbons around bright and early tomorrow morning.

Today I read this old post on Lifehacker about how to find anyone on the web. It was one of their most popular posts of 2007 and I’m not sure how I missed it the first time around. Anyway, after using a few of the sites mentioned to search for myself, I naturally started looking for old friends, classmates, and ex-boyfriends.

It was scary how quickly I was able to find people, especially on ZabaSearch and Pipl. I found one ex who I’d assumed had just dropped off the grid a few years ago. In the matter of a few clicks I was looking at his MySpace page, and reading a few of his blog posts. Fascinated, I pulled up my chair and got immersed for a few minutes. He’s a good writer, always has been, and the little glimpses I got into his life now were tantalizing – in some ways, we’re still so much alike, and in others, completely different.

But after a few minutes I realized something…I was cyberstalking. This wasn’t just casual searching and browsing anymore. This was…well, stalking. Here I was reading blog posts and looking at photos, but without any intention to leave a comment and identify myself, or send an email to say “what’s up?” I started to feel kinda skeevy, so I quickly closed the tabs in Firefox that contained all this juicy, tempting information.

To be sure, I did not have any malicious intent. It was just curiosity about a person who, at one time, was a very significant part of my life. Honestly, I would leave a comment or send an email, if I thought he’d be receptive to it. But, unfortunately, our relationship a few years after breaking up got kind of rocky, and sadly I don’t think you could even call us friends anymore. So better to leave it alone, and out of respect, to forget his username on MySpace and Facebook and the other web sites I found where he has a presence.

Maybe it’s better just to treasure the good memories, golden and happy and suspended in my heart like a timeless scene in a snow globe.

The healthcare system in the U.S. is majorly fucked up. Not so much because of the medical practitioners or the medical science, which is generally excellent, but because of the horrible system of employment-based health insurance that we deal with. Back when the hubby worked at <Anonymous Major Media Company>, we enjoyed Kaiser Permanente. Some people really hate HMOs, but I’m not one of them. At least not Kaiser, which has got to be the world’s best and most wonderful HMO ever. Whatever we needed was covered, usually 100%. I loved Kaiser.

Flash forward to today. I’m forced to carry my whole family on my employer’s insurance, which is currently provided by Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield. This is supposed to be really good coverage, and in some ways, it is. Since I have a child, and a child with a congenital heart defect at that, I want to be prepared for any contingency, so I pay for the “enhanced” PPO plan. The benefits include not having to get a referral to see any specialist, $10 primary provider co-pays, and so forth. Of course, this costs me big time. Currently it’s nearly $200 per paycheck, to cover our whole family, which adds up to over $400 a month.

You’d think for those prices that Anthem’s coverage would be pretty damn good. You’d think, for instance, that they’d cover flu shots. I mean, whenever I wanted a flu shot before, Kaiser gave me one for no charge.

You’d think wrong.

Today I got an explanation of benefits alerting me to the fact that the flu shot I got in November was not covered. The reason? “Your benefit plan or policy does not cover services for the condition that was indicated on this claim.” Um…what condition? Being human? Having contact with other people, especially small children and their parents? Not wanting to get the flu, miss work, and possibly see the doctor, resulting in MORE healthcare costs?

Maybe the most annoying part of all this is, the flu shot is going to cost me $42. I think that breaks down to $20 or $22 for the shot itself and then $20 or $22 for the services of the nurse who injected it into me. Wow. I basically would have been better off going to the grocery store, waiting in line, and paying $25 at their flu shot clinic.

Thanks a lot, Anthem. You suck. Of course, my employer has decided that Anthem is too expensive, so in January they’re switching to an even worse company, United Healthcare. Having fought over coverage with UHC in the past, I’m sure I have lots more disappointments and frustrations to look forward to. Oh and the bonus – for that distinct pleasure I’ll now be paying over $500 a month. Yep – $100 more a month for worse coverage, higher co-pays, and even less helpful customer service.

It’s enough to make you sick.

This morning I was listening to NPR while I got ready for work, as usual, and there was a short piece on John McCain. The reporter claimed, “McCain was once the frontrunner in this race,” “this race” meaning the way-too-long primary race to see who will be next year’s presidential nominee, in this case for the Republicans. When I heard that I had to pause, and said so myself, “Seriously? The frontrunner?” I mean, come on! When was McCain ever the frontrunner for the Republican nomination – 1999? Certainly not at any time this primary season that I was aware of. I think, for a while, he was the only well-known name who it was clear was going to enter the race, but even then people seemed to be waiting around for “something better.” The story on NPR went on to blame his subsequent “slide” in public opinion on some unpopular positions on immigration and a supposed “meltdown” in his campaign last summer, when a bunch of staffers were let go.

Meltdown, right. It’s called “we’re not raising any money and I can’t afford to pay all you lackeys!”

From my perspective, John McCain was once a very viable candidate. But, again, that was back in 1999. He used to stand for something – for independent thinking, for straight talk, for not kowtowing to the Republican machine. The way Karl Rove engineered his smearing in that primary was sickening (it started with “rumors” that McCain’s adopted daughter was actually his biological, illegitimate daughter from an affair, and went downhill from there). If there’s any Republican in the world who should hate George W. Bush as much as I do, it’s John McCain.

Instead, McCain has become a Bush loyalist.

His biggest line now, the whole principal he seems to be running on is, “We’re actually winning in Iraq, and we can’t give up now!” That’s a pretty unpopular position on all ends of the political spectrum, but McCain doggedly pursues it. It’s his “signature” stand. What a waste.

One of the voters interviewed during the NPR story said something like, “You kind of have to admire him for sticking to his convictions.” Um…OK. Like, all those people who thought the Earth was flat, even though there was overwhelming evidence that it was not, we should admire them, because they “stuck to their convictions” no matter how ill-informed, ignorant, and wrong they were. (Insert your own obvious fallacy and group of stubborn, ignorant individuals who still believe it here, there are hundreds to choose from.)

Anyway, obviously I’m not going to be voting for John McCain any time soon. I don’t vote in the Republican primary anyway, but even if he somehow came from way behind and was the nominee in the general election, I wouldn’t vote for him. Sadly, there was a time when I would have, but I honestly believe he was a different candidate, and a different person, back then. Now he’s just another shill for the administration, and has lost all credibility. He’s a stubborn old man who has sold out to a bunch of corrupt chickenhawks.

And even though I’m not a Republican, and as a rule, I dislike Republicans intensely, that makes me sad.

So what are you wishing for this holiday season? I guess I already bought myself a Christmas gift, although I got it at the beginning of November – my iPhone. I love this little toy and have not regretted the purchase for a second. With the iPhone, I’m all taken care of in the Christmas present department.

(Is it sad that one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten came from…me? I’m leaning more towards it feeling “empowered,” rather than “pathetic.”)

If I had to create a “wish list” for Christmas I’d wish for lot of abstract things – at first. Stuff like perfect health for my daughter, my husband, and me; a job for my husband (now that would be a great Xmas); and the resurgence of progressive values in American society. Unfortunately you can’t fit any of that stuff under the tree, so here are the top 10 items on my Amazon wishlist, commercial and crass as they may be:

1. Blade Runner (Five-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition)
2. Ray-Ban RB 2113 Wayfarers with Flex, tortoise frames/brown lenses
3. Amazon Gift Certificate <———– is that cheating?
4. BioShock for PC
5. Eye-Fi Wireless 2GB SD Memory Card
6. Any set of Justice League (or JL Unlimited) DVDs
7. Extra Pentax DL-I8 battery (for my camera)
8. My Boring Ass Life: The Uncomfortably Candid Diary of Kevin Smith
9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Omnibus (Volumes 1 and 2)
10. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier (Alan Moore)

What’s on your wish list?